Today was recycling day. Curbside recycling is an extra city service that, for some reason, we pay two dollars per month to receive. Basically, we pay Company A to pick up our recycling. Company A sorts it and sells it to Company B who turns it back into raw materials and sells them to Company C-Z. These companies convert the raw materials into goods that are sold back to guess who. That’s right, me. Someone is getting screwed in this deal and I think I know who it is.
Nevertheless, as I dragged the heaping tubs of aluminum cans, glass bottles, various plastics, and papers to the curb I felt good about myself. There I was, doing my part to be a good steward of the earth; one beer can at a time. We could have just as easily chucked all of that crap in the trash. But that’s not us. No, we have chosen to let the would-be trash pile up in the garage until the empty bay looks like the cab of a Peterbilt truck after a month on the road.
In all honesty, I think recycling is a great thing, even if in some cases it expends more energy to recycle old than to create new. And on top of that, I get be a pompous ass whenever people are over to the house. “Oh, don’t throw that away. We recycle.”
Then a thought hit me; getting the Wall Street Journal actually allows me to recycle more. Recycling more makes me a better caretaker of Mother Nature, and in turn a better person than my neighbor. And as we all know, it’s all about outdoing our neighbors.
Every 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month, I drag a tub full of newspapers to the curb, and those papers are primed to be turned into…newspapers. It all became so clear to me on this cold, January morning. In order to SAVE trees I must KILL trees!
How is that for an oxymoron? Needless to say, I am destined for Washington D.C.
Use #5: Filling Recycling Bins
John Hansen always wears a belt with his pants. This functional fashion accessory lets his father know that he raised a fine son. John has co-written the masterpiece The Power of Zahn, which will make a fine leather bound keepsake.
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