#11: Cool Down

Today I decided that the coils on my refrigerator needed to be cleaned. Don’t think I’m entirely crazy; after all it is advisable to occasionally clean your refrigerator coils. Doing so makes the unit run more efficiently and last longer. A prime example of this fact is my parent’s avocado green Kenmore refrigerator. From the time I was born until well after I had kids of my own the green beauty was the only coolerator to be found in Mom and Dad’s kitchen. By the time it had made its run it was well over 30 years old, which is one helluva a return on a depreciating asset.

I’m sure the main reason it graced the kitchen décor so long was my dad’s routine cleaning of the coils. Every year he pulled the box in front of the garage door and went after it with the air compressor. When he finished, the coils were like new and the garage looked like a sand storm had just rolled through.

My father is fanatical about routine maintenance; me not so much. I am obsessive about changing the oil in my cars on time (see Use #1) but go too far beyond that and the curve drops sharply. I tend to lean more towards panicked obsession when doing routine upkeep. Case in point, cleaning the refrigerator.

This morning I noticed that the food didn’t seem “as cold” as usual. I quickly decided that it most certainly was the coils that I hadn’t cleaned in at least three years. Immediately following that decision I went into a panic routine. I knew instantly that I had waited too long to clean the coils and that the refrigerator would have to be replaced at a cost of no less than $15,000. I also realized that not only the food in the refrigerator would spoil, but all food in the house would have to be tossed. And finally, I recognized that because the jelly jar felt slightly less cold two of my kids would not be able to get a college education. Not once did I consider the fact that the refrigerator was packed full like a debutante’s suitcase.

So this evening I broke out the Kirby and went to work vacuuming the refrigerator coils. One thing I have noticed about vacuum cleaner attachments, specifically the long narrow one, is that they are long enough to do everything but what you want them to do. It seems every time I use that extension I can reach about half of what I want vacuum. Fortunately, I entered this fight with a plan! With the help of the Wall Street Journal and some duct tape I made a clever extension and went to work. Using the attachment and a masterfully formed Marketplace section, I was able to thoroughly clean the coils and do a job that would make the old man smile.

Now I have a clean refrigerator, a calm mind, and food that is the same temperature as before.

Use #11 – Vacuum Sweeper Attachment

John Hansen enjoys ice cold beer from his garage refrigerator, which has never had the coils cleaned. He is the co-author of the Power of Zahn, a cool megahero novel that expounds the virtues of an ice cold six pack and a hot shower.